The last flashback!

**The last flashback

It’s 8:17 Pm rit now, sitting at my work desk, taking a sip of Ice-Tea, and scrolling Twitter I can see everyone sharing their year recap.
I too thought of taking a flashback, but then my doctor’s advice popped up in my mind don’t think about what had happened. I have been fighting depression for the last 2.5 months, now slowly recovering, all thanks to my Instinct and my friend Seerat, with whom I consulted a doctor very early.

Nevertheless, this year has been a roller coaster for me. I gained the most, and I lost what meant the world to me- My Mom.

September 26 is the best and the worst day for me. Why are the best and the worst both? Worst- My mom passed away and left me alone in this world forever. Best- She got relief from all the pain and suffering that she has been going through for the last 5-6 months.

I think I should stop writing about this and thinking about it. It might take me back to the dark state. This is not something that I wish to talk about right now.

Then?
It’s about the single best thing that I did or happened with me this year. A bit personal story, and some realisation.

May 1, 2023! It was a national holiday and I had an off day after a long time, yes back then I used to work on weekends as well. I was scrolling Instagram and a reel popped up, some random guy taking his grandma to Kedarnath, it was surely very emotional. My mom was in Kolkata at that time for her eye surgery. It’s a rare moment. She used to live in the village and doesn’t like to go anywhere. I remember when I was a kid and we were living in Asansol, she always fought with Dad to take her to Puri- a pilgrim sight in Orissa.

I really don’t know what exactly happened to me, I just went and expressed my desire to take Mom to Puri and she was like, am I joking? She is not able to walk properly, how would she manage, and many more random questions. I just came back in my room and decided that I am taking her to Puri, and that too today itself. No matter what and how.

I immediately looked for the next available flight, and it was Alliance Air's 8:15 PM flight. I just asked my sister to pack some of her clothes. I was on a one-way ticket until that time, as I was not sure If we were coming back from Puri only or would visit some other places as well.
Tan-tada, bags packed and within an hour we were at Kolkata airport. We arrived 4 hours early, I was scared she might change her mind.
Time passed and it’s time for the boarding. This boarding was also exceptional for me, as this was her first flight in her life.
**

**( Huh!, I was just trying to Insert some Image, but unfortunately not able to, Leave it! Let’s Continue the Story)

The flight was a little delayed, in the air, and around 9:30 We reached the Bubuneshwar airport. Then I realised that she needed a wheelchair, though she was able to walk slowly, the wheelchair would make her journey smoother.
It was late at night in Bhuvneshwar and was hard to find any shop open. But luckily our cab driver found one. Got a nice wheelchair and then we left for Puri. Visited Jagannath Puri Temple and by that time, I had no plans to go anywhere else, most portably, would have stayed for one more day and then back to Kolkata.

Mom was sleeping in the Hotel room, I thought to visit the beach. While sitting on the beach, I realised I might not get this opportunity as she had not been keeping good health for a long time. I said we aren’t done yet. I immediately booked the flight to Delhi, at that moment I planned to Visit, Vrindavan, Mathura, Haridwar and Rishikesh and at Rishikesh I would decide If I could go to Kedarnath and Badrinath or not. The next day we left for Delhi. That was very memorable for her. It was Indigo, and I can’t stop saying that Indigo is the best airline when it comes to service. The cabin crew was very kind, they offered a seat in the first row for mom, during the flight mom had lots of fun talking to the cabin crew.**

**
In 2 hours, we were in Delhi, and Delhi welcomed us with heavy rainfall. Somehow got out of the airport and reached the Hotel.
The next day we visited Vrindavan and Mathura and then we came back to Kolkata. I dropped the plan of visiting Haridwar and Mathura as it was raining very heavily.

Ok! By this time what exactly do I want to share, or am I just narrating my journey?
Here comes the hard part. After a month of coming back, one night she got a brain stroke and her life turned upside down that night. I don’t even want to think about how was the next six months. And then on September 26, late at night Mom passed away.

When I look back and try to think of one good thing/event that happened to me this year, I can only count on this visit.
How lightly we take this life, knowing the fact that this might end up anytime. So my friends, I just want to say one thing to you all, in life, some events are just for once, you will never get a second chance, and usually we all just ignore it by thinking we have all the time, will do later on.
I just realised that this was the first and the last trip with my mom, we never went on a trip before that.**

If not that day, It would never be again, even if I had the entire wealth of the world.
If something is coming from inside, go for it. Don't wait for the rit time. It might never come.
With this, I pen down, as It getting hard for me to constantly wipe my tears.
Some regrets will be with me throughout my life, and those are very painful.

Till you have time, do all those things that you wish to do once in a lifetime, because often time doesn't give us time.